"Kau sekolah mana dulu? Hah?"

hmmm. nak tahu satu benda random tak?

currently, i'm doing my research paper punya assignment. and out of nowhere, i open new tab kat google chrome and guess..?

type kat youtube; MRSM PDRM dan scroll sampai jumpa this video.

students mrsm pdrm form 5 06/07


serius. random. okay.

and then terfikir this one thing.

agak agak, kalau bagi video nih pastu buat kuiz "Masihkah kau ingat nama nama mereka ini?", kompem ada yang garu kepala.

memori habis nih der. kalau tak ingat jugak... sila luku kepala sendiri sambil berkata, "Kau sekolah mana dulu? Hah?"

EPIC.

A cute zombie is looking for brains! Anyone? :p

words, are not enough to describe what is happening inside ma brain.

at this time, the thought of quitting can be quite disturbing, you know.
too tired to give up, too hardcore to stay the course. eh. mohon doa yang baik baik untuk penulis, pwetty pweaseee?

tak pernah sezombie begini. sampaikan nak tidur pun rasa serba salah, tahu? *tapi TERtidur jugak ah atas lantai depan laptop, heh*

takpelah. kalau qistina dah start bebel ceni, maksudnya takde ah dia zombie mana pun. habis kuat pun, eyebags dua ketul, otak tingtong weng weng, cakap merepek. macam dalam post ni. emergeeeed. what are you saying, qistina? say it again?

okay enough babbling, i need to save the words dalam kepala otak for research. jangan bazir semborono.

"Ujian hebat untuk orang hebat."

dok hebak sangat ah kalau mu dok stuck sini dok gerak gerak. mu gi cari brains nuh! -_-"

kbai. doa baik baik tau! jangan lupa, DOA! semoga Allah permudahkan urusan semua :)

"And seek assistance through patience and prayer, and most surely it is a hard thing except for the humble ones, Who know that they shall meet their Lord and that they shall return to Him." [2:45-46] <3

don't kebab.

dah hujung hujung sem ni, feeling dia lain macam sikit ah. entah, nak terang.. serba tak kena. serupa alah bisa tegal biasa. dah selalu sangat bergelumang dengan esaimen, sampaikan 1500 words tu standard buat 2 malam sebelum due date. bukan nak galakkan prokrastinasi dan sebagainya, bukan. cuma nak kata.. penat pikiaq esaimen, sampai kadang kadang tu tak rasa penat dah. rasa dah lali dengan last-minute work. i know this is not good, yes i'm aware of that. but frankly speaking, too tired to feel the penat.

and the fact that i tend to think too much at this period of time, really kills the entire me. rasa macam hopeless sangat bila fikir macam macam, and takde resolution, just.. fikir. maybe i need to get a good enough rest for a night, just to clear up my mind, maybe. but for sure not at this time.

sebab.. i've got 6000-words esaimens to be completed by Monday. 6000 tu, agaknya kalau muntah pun keluar words gamaknya. eh.

doakan okay! semoga Allah permudahkan urusan semua, iA <3 p/s : nak tengok kebab yang lazat? nah, tekan link nih untuk kebab yang enak lagi comel. eh.

life ain't easy, you know!

when things are getting complicated, (life ain't easy, you know!) i have this one habit. this one weird (?) habit.

google gambar gambar scenery yang cantik, nature shots (especially laut, sungai, anything that has to do dengan air), foto foto abstrak yang cun, and guess? i'll imagine myself being there at that right moment, embracing the whole perfect harmony of nature and its beauty, and try to put meaning to the abstract photos (of course why not?, cakap jiwang heh)

this could be the best therapy for me (so far), even secara physicallynya you're not there (not that close!).

so, whenever i post anything/photos about nature, abstract, etc (as listed), that explains the state of my mind at the moment. which-you-know-what, eh.

to tell you the truth.. life ain't easy, you know! okay tagline lame, kbai.

say only when you mean it.

i say words when i really mean them.

and when i say i do, i will always do, always. keep that in mind, and you shall never forget.

"..'cause she's awesome liddat, you know. to tell the truth, degil sebenarnya. blergh."

again and again

it happens again and again.

again and again, all i could ask for; pinjam kan kekuatan itu. kekuatan yang sama tara dengan ujian ini.

sungguh, saat ini baru terasa kerdilnya hamba ini. kerana hanya dengan sedikit ujian ini pun, merayu rayu meminta diberi kekuatan. apalah sangat nilai hamba yang tak reti bersyukur ni, kalau nak dibandingkan betapa ramainya lagi hamba yang hidup diberi ujian sentiasa, and yet masih menunaikan hak sebagai hamba itu?

kuat! and that's the most difficult word, after all. :(

somebody i used to know

selama almost twenty three years bernafas, jarang yang amat dia jatuh sakit. jarang, serius. habis teruk pun, sakit kepala. demam? susah yang amat.

but that was years back then.
sekarang dia tak fit macam dulu dah.

with aches all over the body and serious back pain too, it is hard to tell that she is having the time of her life now.

demam pun kadangkala menjengah, sakit kepala tu dah macam alah bisa tegal biasa.

"Everyone is facing the same thing too." "But the thing is, itu mereka. This is me, I know my own limits."

"Tapi Allah takkan bebani hambaNya dengan something yang dia tak mampu. Pernah dengar kan? Teruskan bertahan. Kuatkan semangat, pujuk diri jangan manja sangat. Jangan layankan sangat lemah lemah ni."

"Sungguh, kalau boleh share rasa ini, pasti yang mendengar tidak mahu. Kerana rasa itu sangat sukar hendak dirungkai, tersimpan rapi dalam hati. Tolong. Tolong doakan aku ya?"

dia tak tahu nak rasa macam mana. menurun, barangkali.

"Dan sungguh, Kami benar-benar akan menguji kamu sehingga Kami mengetahui orang-orang yang benar-benar berjihad dan bersabar di antara kamu; dan akan Kami uji perihal kamu." (47:31)

okay, dia memang patut nangis sekarang.

twenty... err, twenty-what?

i was looking at the list for the convoi team yang pegi trip Satun haritu, when i spontaneously said "Errr, for real, this is happening?"

No. Kereta : P**8088
Nama : Incik Ayah (bukan nama sebenar) (53 tahun)
Puan Ibu (bukan nama sebenar) (54 tahun)
Qistina (nama sebenar) (21 tahun)
Eiein (bukan nama sebenar) (17 tahun)

okay, now spot the most pelik fact about the details.



get it?
i also get it maaa, lagi cepat than uols tauuu. sebab i was 2 years younger daripada biasa, uols ade keee?

and straightaway, i asked him; "Ayah, ayah ingat dak cheq umoq berapa la ni?" "Ha, ingat. Hat dok tulis dalam kertas tu la kan?" "Ayahhh! Daklaaa! Cheq dah doploh tiga tahun dah ayah! Ayah tak ingat kaaa?" (Dalam hati bukan main suka lagi yeee, awet muda la konon)

the next reaksi ayah was "Laaaa, yaka? Bukan doploh satu ka?" sambil sengih sengih. mujur. mujur ayah cakap anak hat ni muda dua tahun. takdak la nak gelabah sangat, "eh awattt, muka dah ageing kaaa ayah dok ingat 27 tahun?"

kfoineee. meaning to say; you're not behaving the way you should behave. the age you should behave. come on qistina, this is not happening, you're not that sweet seventeen ke, sour twenty ke. be the twenty three, think like twenty three.

or.. Ayah nak cakap, "Hey you my only baby girl, forever jadi baby girl boleh?"

okay pengsan kalau ayah cakap face-to-face.
terima kasih ayah, you made my day! hikhiks :p

p/s : whatever it is, ingat. masa tak tunggu kita. mungkin harini kita doploh tiga. semalam doploh dua. esok? tengok tengok dah lima ploh lima. kalau pun sempat angka lima. kalau angka dua pun tak lepas? haru! time flies so fast that kejip mata pun boleh beza setahun, tahu? cakap pasal waktu hidup, bukan main pum pam pum pam, cakap pasal waktu mati? bunyi cengkerik krik krik krik. ni shoot diri sendiri ke hape nih qistina -_____-"