She's gonna wait..

Monday, February 25, 2013

abang

yesterday was the kenduri. what kenduri? ehem ehemmm.

abang's kenduri.

it went well (i guess?), ibu called waktu kenduri dah habis, and mengadu this one thing.

"Penat la ibu kemas sorang sorang, takde sape pun nak tolong ibu. Abang dah balik kl tadi."

and i was like... "I wish i could help ibu. I really wish i could just be there and help you with those things."

and that is the main reason for me not to mintak posting jejauh; on the list are just utara sections - Penang, Kedah, Perak, or Perlis. well, aturan Allah jugak yang paling cantik kan, iA boleh berusaha dan yakin lagi percaya apa apa yang berlaku, itu yang paling baik pada waktu dan ketika itu. just wait and see.

oh yea, this story is actually about abang. remember one of my post about him, having dilemma and recently planning to go for umrah?

alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, one of the good news i've ever heard from him was last Tuesday.

he was offered a quite-promising, permanent job dekat satu government office ni, which for me... awesomenya aturan Allah!

dalam saat dia buntu fikir pasal his future, and he was about to go untuk ziarah rumah Allah, Allah hadirkan satu berita gembira untuk dia, dan kami sekeluarga.

satu benda yang aku kagum dengan abang ni; dia pandai bawa diri. he can easily make friends with everyone; can you imagine dekat 4-5 tempat kerja dia yang dulu, memang banyak cabel ah, serius wooo. even tempat kerja dia yang last ni, ibu cakap orang masih taknak bagi dia berhenti. "what so special about you huh, abang?" ada riak jeles di hati seorang adik.

well, he deserves all these. seriously, i'm a proud lil sister, i could say all the good things about him, and could hardly find his weakness. (except for kuat membebel dan tidy-conscious jugak macam ayah, lol)

bonus untuk abang jugak, when i asked him, "tempat kerja nanti kat mana?" "Penang weh, Penang. boleh ulang alik dari rumah wehhh." okay fine, adik ini berhak untuk iri hati. T___T

anyways anyhows abang, this adik of yours just want to say, "Hey abang, i as your only lil sister nak request this one thing. Gaji pertama sila belanja makan besar satu family bulan mac, gaji kedua sila simpan untuk buat hantaran meminang anak dara orang. Gaji ketiga nak hulur hulur pun, okay jugaklaaa."

Eh jap. ni sape yang kerja ni, gaji sape sebenarnya?

Sunday, February 24, 2013

somewhere over the rainbow

tak tahu nak rasa apa sekarang. tak tahu.
cuma satu.



beri kekuatan setimpal dengan apa yang Kau beri.
cuma itu je, itu je. tak lain dari itu.

rasa nak terjun atas jetplane, terbang pulang ke rumah. rindu nak kacau eiein, nak kena marah dengan ayah, nak sesi girls' talk dengan ibu, nak boys' talk dengan faris, nak keluar dengan abang. cepat march, sila datang segera.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

something good in everyday

untuk menjadi seorang yang positif di tahun akhir pengajian sangatlah terasa susah yang amat, like seriously.. susah.

takdir telah menentukan, banyak pulak benda nak kena setel at one time, sehinggakan kadang kadang rasa diri macam sebuah mesin robot yang bergerak tanpa rehat, bergerak tanpa ada satu matlamat yang betul betul, yang pasti.

at one point, rasa nak give up tu melebihi segala galanya. melebihi rasa yang sepatutnya seorang hamba, punya. melebihi rasa yang sepatutnya seorang khalifah, percaya. melebihi rasa yang sepatutnya seorang manusia, kaya.

cuba bayangkan, sakit gigi selama 3 minggu yang lepas terpaksa ditahan hanya kerana nak save duit, akhirnya menuntut pengorbanan ratusan ringgit, and yet.. still sakit sampai sekarang.

cuba bayangkan, parcel yang ditunggu tak kunjung tiba, once dah sampai, tak dapat nak pick up sebab busy dengan kelas and stuffs, and bila pergi claim, parcel sudah dihantar pulang ke penang.

cuba bayangkan, kelas full at one time, and nak dijadikan cerita, time tu jugak kena submit this one particular assignment yang memerlukan higher order thinking skills, memang zombie habis ah berjaga. lemau the whole day, and tak produktif langsung.

and banyak lagi "cuba bayangkan" moments yang berlaku, those are just few.

entahla. kadang kadang rasa macam i have the right to give up life that easy. i just feel i have that right to be that way; giving up hopes after all the things i've been through. just, that.

and then i get to think this.

why am i here, still living in the first place kalau giving up is the only option i have? why on earth you're still here, typing all those words, commenting on stuffs yang Allah dah takdirkan untuk you? why?

gulp.

normal, untuk manusia itu berasa lemah. kerana dari situ dia kembali kepada fitrahnya, seorang hamba yang hanya bergantung harap dengan Tuannya. seorang khalifah yang berusaha sedaya upaya menunaikan tanggungjawabnya sehabis baik. seorang manusia, yang sememangnya manusia normal; yang bila jatuh, dia cuba bangun dan terus melangkah, biarpun payah.

"Hang tak payah risau sangat aih, semua orang pun dok buat benda yang sama. Yang bezanya, the way you deal with it. You have your own ways, go for it. As long as you keep moving, that's more than enough. There is always something good in everyday, that something; could be you."

*senyum*

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

say it as you mean it


the picture speaks what i'm about to say, just so you know.

'cause i know you won't be able to find out the truest truth of it, it's her favourite ringtone.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

satu pinta.

andai ini yang terbaik
berikan rasa itu
rasa puas hati
lapang dada
mampu terima
apa apa pun yang telah direncana.

kerana sungguh
manusia ini hanya biasa biasa
masih mencuba sehabis upaya
tengah berusaha dengan segala
apa yang ada
untuk dirinya cuma, dirinya yang hina.

andai ini yang terbaik
permudahkan.

sungguh, susah nak digambar dengan kata kata rasa ini. rasa yang.. entah, tak pasti.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

the call.

last few weeks, had a brief chat with him. it was just a conversation of not to say heart-to-heart one, but just tanya khabar, and how he was doing so far. well, he didn't tell much, as expected, probably thinking it's not nice to let me know all the problems he might have.

but i know his feelings, 'cause i've been there. maybe not for the same reason, but yeah. i can feel you.

banyak sangat benda yang perlu di-achieve, and he's in a great dilemma. recently, he told me about his future planning; he is now saving money, planning to get a permanent job, and get married. that's his plan, the rationale is that people at his age should be doing all these, and he's the one who is still struggling at the moment. baru saving sikit, kerja masih kontrak, and then marriage? mestilah jauh lagi nak dapat fikir, and i feel bad for him.

if only i could help, at least do something to ease his burden.

just in time, something unexpected came.

Tok will be going to Mecca to perform her umrah this coming March, and he was asked to accompany Tok there. at first, he felt a bit reluctant and indecisive, just because he felt it was not the best, right time to go. with his condition, he thought it would be difficult for him to actually go there and spend his saving, when the real fact, the saving was meant for his future.

i couldn't believe my ears, and hearing to that, i replied, "You make the decision, so better make a good one. Bukan senang nak dapat peluang macam ni, and yet the future pun penting jugak. I know it's hard for you to choose, tapi percayalah, apa apa yang telah diputuskan selepas ini, that's the best for you."

and he chose to go there despite the fact that he's going to use some of his saving for the umrah trip.

suprisingly awesome how Allah has put all the things into places.

it was one of his dreams to be there, in front of Kaa'bah, and make duas. his past experiences uruskan orang nak pegi haji makes the urge to go there even stronger than ever. "All good, iA, i'm going to make lots of duas there, probably this is the best for me, for now."

and i said this to him, "Don't worry abang, duit boleh dicari. Tapi nak pegi rumah Allah? Once in a lifetime pun belum tentu tau dapat. Dah tu, doa depan Kaa'bah kot... okay jeles."

p/s ; he asked me, "Nak pesan pape nanti cakap la kat abang. IA abang boleh je." "Nak pesan suruh doa something boleh?" and i smiled. THE END. eh.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

get a life, dudes and dudettes.

it's sunday pepol, wake up, rise and shine seperti bintang bintang berkedipan, menghiasi. eh eh. off tune, heh

kerja bertimbun, yes i know. i should not be here, writing post or whatsoever. minggu ni saje, presentation research project, first assignment curriculum studies, presentation professional development. nama subjek je pun dah gah lain macam. gah gah termengah mengah dengornye tahu?

kalau dulu, tendency untuk komplen memang banyak. awal awal, normal. sekarang dah malas dah. rasa macam dunia assignment ni bukan hanya ana yang punya, dunia ini milik kita bersama, ecewah. so, y so serius? buat sudeyhhh!

memandangkan ini mungkin tahun terakhir bergelar student (who knows, master phd dah ke laut waktu tu kan), we have to cherish every moment. buat kerja rileks cam biasa, elakkan stress tekanan perasaan dan lemah longlai lemau ye tuan tuan puan puan. act cool, after all, nama pun student, buat kerja bajet cam student je la, senang.

semoga terus diberi kekuatan setimpal dengan ujian yang dihadapi, iA. semoga semua pun selamat selamat jugak, selamattt!

"Have a good weekends, not a good week ends." ngertik?

"i am a cheetah." lol.

p/s : to dear you, i know you will read this. semoga baik baik sajaaa! take care sweetie! see you in March, iA! :))