She's gonna wait..

Monday, January 19, 2015


To be honest, i am not feeling good about myself at the moment.

I have a lot to be done and yet the time is so little that i wanna kerai :'(

Kelas tak hias lagi, smm tak isi lagi, laporan tak siap lagi, sudut mbi tak update lagi dan banyak lagi yang mungkin ter-slip dari fikiran teacher :(

Weekdays are longer than usual, weekends are shorter and tak puas and i have this body ache, flu, headache, and everything else you just can't imagine.

Pimples are everywhere, i couldn't care less but try to work within the time frame, cuba nak siapkan everything on time but there's a voice inside me saying "No you cant do this, alone." :(

It's just the first week of schooling and i feel so teribble that i want to cry, just cry. :'(

I didnt expect things to be this way, i mean i'm okay with the responsibilities given but too many of it makes me freak out, like freak out takut tak dapat buat or tertinggal something along the way :(

It demands a lot from me, the time at home, even when i'm driving i always think and have a conversation inside the head and i think i'm just getting a bit too workaholic here.

I don't feel good abt myself, i know things may be even worse for others but i am at the lowest point of my life right now, trying to get up and move on :(

This post is so personal that i know nobody's going to read it anyway, but posting it here somehow help me to let the stress and problems go.

Hoping a better tomorrow, semangat sikit Qistina, taknak cengeng cengeng dah, you're a big girl now

Sunday, January 4, 2015


i do have feelings. and when i say so, they are genuine and pure. how would i know that for sure?

because i feel it, with all my heart.

it was great. i was glad i had the chance to feel it that way. be it positive or negative, i feel lucky to have these feelings.

time flies, everything keeps changing. but i still feel the same, despite the fact nothing would stay the same. yes, i still do. it's just.. something i don't like to share in public.

about the feelings.

i wish i can still keep the feelings. but i am well aware, i cannot put too much hope in this uncertainty. i may be can pray and still keep it close, but no one knows what might happen in the future.

the thing is, i am trying to be fair to both. to my feelings and to the future i cannot foresee.

let's just hope and keep praying hard. that everything's gonna be just fine, in the end.

it might hit me hard later, i hope i can handle it well. semoga.

hectic weeks, i love you

salam and greetings all :)

been neglecting this blog (should i call this 'neglecting'? i still update whattt) since forever -.-

school hols is almost over, now it's 2015 and more responsibilities coming in.

here's the list:
1. s/u panitia
2. s/u and penyelaras Sistem Maklumat Murid (budak pindah masuk pindah keluar, sila jumpa saya)
3. pen s/u kaunseling (cikgu sendiri pun perlu kaunseling ni dah acanerrr)
4. s/u and penyelaras Jadual Waktu
5. s/u and penyelaras MBMMBI

and the unofficial duties and the list goes on and on and on...

am definitely not complaining, but having to think of it in a way "How can i survive the year with this list of work and duties?"

ini tanggungjawab. i don't ask for it, i was given this list. the feeling is, i hope i would never fail to fulfill these.

so when you see me posting KFC on insta, the continous tweets about the longest day i've ever been and such, just have mercy.

give me good words and i'll be glad to see the positive replies :)

and more deep thoughts will be coming in the next post, inshaAllah. you just wait :p

p/s : any tips for not skipping the lunch? i can guarantee me being skinnier after this with longer working hours at school and not getting proper meal scheduled >.<'

Thursday, January 1, 2015

what i feel right now

Hey hey it's already 2015!

I've got a lot to spill over but i need to find the laptop first. So stay tuned, prolly will update more before the school starts!

Till then. Take care sweethearts